Bra Burning Bonfire

What's happenin grasshoppers! Listen, I don't know about you, BUT, (to get off to a flyin start) for most Women, there's NO better feeling at the end of an arduous day than bolting home, AND, rippin off their bras. BUT, (as you must know) most of our Sister's are STILL wearin 'em, because? They ALL think that it can keep The Twins young, AND healthy. Pay attention Girlfriends! Sexy Scientists have recently VERIFIED that there’s no Goddess damn solid reason to have to strap yourself in at all! Leave it to this French Professor, of the Centre Hospitalier Universitaire de Besancon, to reveal that Lily Pads are NOT necessary for our Doll Face's Breast health. Yepper, peppers, according to this study, those Boob straight jackets are NOT fundamental anatomically, medically, or physiologically. They actually prevent The Girls from growing, OR, achieving their natural journey to Womanhood! The study rounded up 330 volunteers, aged 18 to 35 who had their Butterfly Busts measured over 15 years. The results? Those Ladies who didn't wear Chest Cushions had a 7 millimeter rise and shine in their Mammary Glands each year! Not only this, BUT, (Ta Da!) the Two Peas in a Pod of the Lovely Lass's who didn't wear Breast Plates, also bared fewer stretch marks. Their Luminous Ladies WERE firmer than the ones who regularly wore those Pathetic Buffer's for their Pretty Pedals! Of course this study IS a contradiction to the upbringing of bullshit conventional wisdom. BUT, (to keep goin here) according to the debate at hand? NOT wearing that Stupid Garment actually PROTECTS your Favourite Friends from gravity. Why??? Well, because it FORCES us Goddesses into better posture that's why. It gives the body the horsepower to develop the muscles that lie underneath those Dew Drops, which aid support, AND, lift off! One Fantastic Female pioneer in this project said that after burning Her bra at the stake for two years, She could even F****IN breathe better. Her posture became stellar, AND, had NO back pain! Sister's, brother's; this ISSSS even despite the fact that bras WERE HERstorically designed to improve these ailments! The Strap Ins are somewhat at odds amongst The Stronger Sex because NO ONE really knows what the F*** to do with them! For some Sexy Sovereigns, they're essential to daily life like nutrition; BUT, (truthfully) they're nothing but a pain in the F***IN TITS! Guys, have you ever gone bra shopping? They're Goddess damn expensive, AND, fickle. Whether you Love, Love, Love 'em, OR, take revenge on them, it's pretty much impossible to even find the right fit at the right price for that matter! For those young Queen Bee's who are only just beginning to wear those Blasted Things, I, AND, Science says there's no sanity to even push them into it. In fact? Losin the Latch Belt IS wayyyyyy better for our young Lu Lu's because it's the pillar for growth, AND, sturdy muscle thread work in that area. What this means ISSSS? Mothers, AND, even father's, stop forcing your 10 year old Baby Butterflies into wearin a Training Bra. Training for what I say? These Band Aids serve only as aesthetic purposes that serve (you got it) CULTURAL norms, AND, local beauty morals! Instead of supporting a Girl’s Feminine Flowering, these pieces of shit stifle it, AND, forces The Ancient Grandmother's into a lifelong sentence behind bars!!! Thankfully, because the Women of this study were young enough; they haven't had to spend their whole lives in detention camp. BUT, (Tee Hee) it's NOT true for the rest of the dungeon dwellers, distinctly those over the age of 35 or 40. These Honey Drippers have been locked up for decades! It's really messed up here because, settin 'em free full time would likely lead to more of a distressful rehabilitation! To close off here today? The study results aren't revolutionary by no means. So, there's no need to cut up your Victoria’s Secret Angels card just yet. Why? Because good 'ol Vicky HAS woken up, AND, evolved into Yoga attire dontcha know, for our healthy exercise regimes! The number cruncher's aren't sayin stop wearin 'em; BECAUSE, there's a huge gap in the information about the biometrics of bouncin around the Ladies during physical activity. WE HAVE HEALTHIER CHOICES FINALLY! BUT, (in reality), they're sayin that there's NO scientific reason to even start usin a Casket on you Chest, so start the Bonfire Loveaaaasss; get ridda the Duct Tape!