Bangin The Canvas

Hi Loveaaaasss! Can any of US remember back in the pre-school generation days when we were ALL (with hope) enthusiastically finger painting? Well, I for one WAS a really BIG fan of it! I dunno about you, BUT, (Tee Hee) I Love, Love, Loved dippin my paws into the soon to be passionate pigments on my construction paper! I Love diggin into the past with this one particular sample of my many masterstrokes. This boy, AND, I even recall his name, Graham Parks, which BTW, had a huge boner for me in kinder garden, showed some attention to my finished showpiece. He then proudly staged his work of art in front of my face; kinda like you know, the good ol' show me yours and I'll show you mine kinda committed friendship. It was a picture of a house with a tree in the front yard. The house was blue, the tree was green, the roof was black; simple kinda guy right? That little wise guy took it upon himself to review my classic claw marks, which as you can well guess, expressed ALL the colours of the universe splattered and smooshed all over the Goddess damn paper! After he absorbed it in his tinnie winnie brain, he said “Mine is a house, yours is the house after it fell down”, which I thought at the time WAS fairly diplomatic for a 5 year old, 2 legged member on the opposition side of life! Graham and I had an inseparable puppy crush until Grade 5; then? I graduated him off to go F****IN figure it out on his own! When it comes to graffiti, I’ve always Love, Love, Loved big, beautiful messes, AND, making art, AND making Love have a lot in common dontcha you know. Sister's, brother, relationships today ARE impacted with SOOOOO many challenges more so than ever; that's the bottom line here, AND? I'm here to lift you ALL out of any rubble, that at times, piles onto that healthy co-existence, when, OF COURSE, it comes to SEX that is! It's VITAL for 2 people to bring in some Sexual playtime REGULARLY for one thing; BUT, (to make this easy as peasy)? I want you ALL to invite, AND, unite the pre-school class activity of expanding your imagination into your room of a lifetime! Yepper, peppers, it's gonna be THE CATALYST that you need to make a bangin difference when it comes to your SEX life! Alright grasshoppers; let's tap into our 5 year old inner child shall we! Go get yourselves a LARGE cotton canvas, washable organic paints with your choice of dynamic, vivid colours, a JUMBO size protective plastic floor cover, two pairs of disposable slippers, AND, a shower sponge. Yep, that pretty much covers everything you need from setup to wash down when it comes to BANGIN THE CANVAS! Start by genially drenching your tactile member in the paint, AND then? Drizzle, blot, sprinkle, AND, ooooze those airily horny hues all over your Loveaaasss gorgeous garden. All you have to do then ISSSSS a bit of creative cuddling, necking, AND? Well, whada ya think? Go ahead and F***, then take a quick rinse! What's comin down the pike next ISSSS, you'll be headin off to shop TOGETHER, the very next day for a picture frame when your model gem has dried that's for sure! I'm tellin ya people! Turn SEX into art you horny hummingbirds, by romping naked camouflaged in the colours of your worldt; it's like visual representations of your Sexual personality! Listen to me on this! Your body during PUSHY PUSHY is extremely honest, AND, makes for THE perfect paintbrush. You'll see, the artwork IS incredible because it's SOOOO unique each and ever time, even though the intimate process of F***IN always seems to be the same, boring! Seriously grasshoppers; you're gonna get excited from now on thinkin about the next project because the outcome WILL be something MEMORABLE to look forward to!!!! Look, even the French artist Yves Klein used Naked Lady Jaybirds as human paintbrushes to make his Anthropometry murals in 1960 (Goddess damn horny hippy); you gotta Love, Love, Love the French mannnnn!!! They're always SOOOO SEXY!! Listen, you don't need to use a brush to be an artist; we're all creatives! I believe the body IS the greatest tool, AND, through the act of Love, Love, Love Loveaaasss? We WILL all make our mark as artisans! Sex HAS been portrayed in art since the cave abstract design days. Canvas composers have been applying naked flesh to awning cloths for eons, BUT, (as we move on here) the idea of turning THE erotic activity into a method of RELATIONSHIP mastery IS Sexually healing for couples! Hmmmm, I'd definitely be the one to declare that executing naked bodies on tarps IS something to be SPECIFICALLY brought in as a 3rd wheel for one's Love life; AND, to admire the shit out of it! Pay attention Lovelies! Seriously, couples are NOW taking art into the pump house as a NEW TREND; covering themselves in cosmetic colourant before havin nookie to harvest horny unique original traces of intimacy! NO SHIT HERE; I've been sincerely moved by my own Sexy experience to start adding crafty ingenuity to Sex play! Look, Sex is just something that would normal leave wrinkly wet spots on the bed sheets, no? Why not capture the beauty, AND, passion of the Sacred Union through virtuosity? I invite ALL of you to create a private setting with low lighting, organically scented candles, AND, a heated canvas to create your own genuine slice of Sensuality. Experience a TRULY memorable night, OR, day for that matter, to display the Sexy souls journey to creative artistry. Now, wouldn't ya say here's art we can ALL get behind!