Happy Horny Fall Equinox people! I'm Sexually charged, AND, UNsaddened; BECAUSE? On September 22, 2018 at 9:54 p.m EST as a result of the Celestial event known as The Autumnal Equinox, Summer WILL officially come to an end. With our on again/off again relationship with Summer in this part of Gaia, we’ve been through this before right? BUT, (rollin onto a carpet of fallin leaves) it’s always low spirited to say adieu's, OR, is it? Listen up Summer! We all just wanna let you know that we had some pretty Sexy times this year, BUT, (move over) because Fall has scientifically been rated the SEXIEST SEASON of 'em all! Ya, you really did your part with those long days, AND, the scorching heat waves, great job, BUT, (you now have competition!)
Replacing Summer’s Dakini Bikinis with Fall’s sweaters may feel decidedly unsexy, BUT, (as you must know) surprisingly, Autumn IS one of the Sexiest times of year. Yepper peppers! Maybe it’s because our animal instincts tell us to F*** before we go into hibernation. Or? Because social media platforms say so. Either way Loveaaaas, turn those long underwear induced frowns upside down, AND, follow me through the Fall for reasons why IT IS about to heat up!
Now that Summer IS gone, we just wanna let IT know that truly, SHE is our favourite season, ya? BUT, (grinding away) there’s just SOOOO much more to Love, Love, Love about this time of year, is there not?? The bounty of harvest, seasonal grape wine, the colourful display of falling leaves, AND, laying down on them with a Sexy significant other! What about those cool sweaters for fresher weather? Boot shopping, AND, (of course) the advent of ALL our end of the year holiday's. Thanks for giving, Horny Halloween, Remembrance Day here we come, Holy Christ Mas!! Not to mention all of our associated warm drinks, rich stews, cozy fires, movie nights, AND, the aromas of indoor living!!
It even gets better from here on grasshoppers! Levels of testosterone in BOTH Women and men ARE at their HIGHEST peak in the Fall people! I'm not shittin ya's! Sexy scientists speculate the surge may be a result of ancient mating instincts, (you know, the Fall rutting season) OR, that decreasing daylight somehow activates it in motion. There's this study that WAS rendered in the journal Perception acclaiming that men think that US Doll Faces ARE more attractive in the cooler season. Delving even deeper declares that during the brisker temperatures of Autumn, brother's ARE more likely to cozy up with their Sweethearts to watch romantic comedies (not movies). Basically, just feeling chilled activates a yearning for toasty, comforts with those other warm bodies!
Whether it's because of the decreasing daylight, OR, increased social activity; Fall season always brings in a Sensual spark for romance, AND, relationships. The leaves might be saying goodbye to the trees, BUT, (Ta Da) your libido IS igniting thanks to the higher testosterone levels. Just to prove my point even further?
According to seasonal patterns of relationships on Facebook profiles alone, Autumn IS the time when more singles change their status to; in a relationship, OR, engaged, than the yearly average. AND? Research shows there's more breakups occurring during the summertime. Testosterone ALWAYS decreases in the Summer Lovelies. THEN? Peaks again throughout Fall. So, aside from high teasing "T"s, AND, all of those sperm counts, evolutionary theorists recommend making buttercups in the Fall and Winter. It IS a subconscious strategy used for producing an offspring with a better chance of survival, if you can believe that! It’s still a mystery why seasonal changes influence the "T" zone levels. BUT, (naturally) this IS the closest thing we humans have to a mating season.
Scientists attach the convincing weight that our brother's evolved to be Sexually primed by food, which made Autumn’s harvest time an excellent time to find a fellow Sister, AND? YOU KNOW (Tee Hee)! In fact? Examined debates also show that a mix of pumpkin pie and donuts increased penile flow by 20%. I'll pass on that, thank you! BUT, (MY FAV) a pumpkin pie, lavender mix increased the penile blood flow by 40% (sounds healthier). More bizarrely, which I DO NOT PROMOTE ISSSSS? Those arousing analytical artists have found a biannual trend in Google searches for naughty keywords related to pornography and prostitution. A sexy survey published this past August 2018 in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior revealed that these frisking's ARE more common around Christ Mas! Even witch hunts HAVE endowed that condom sales GO UP ( La, La) during these times, AND, that young people report having more Sex, Sex, Sex!!!
What's NOT quite clear to the probing partitioners? ISSSSS this seasonal Sex cycle biological, OR, cultural? Well, with my common sense worth; I'd apt to say BOTH! Perhaps caused by Loveaaaaas having extra vacation time on their hands around the holidays!
Time to embrace ALL that comes our way this Season!