Sacred Butt Heads

Hey what's up people?! Pay close attention here, ESPECIALLY you brother's out there. Why? Because, today I'm just gonna get to the bottom of things, AND, I mean right down to your ASSHOLES!!!! Some of you fellas think that puttin anything between your butt cheeks makes you instantly gay, chiefly if that thing is a finger, OR, a pair of hands. BUT, (to be blunt) APPARENTLY some ultra masculine men ARE so unwaveringly heterosexual that they aren’t wipin their own apple blossom bottom properly for F*** sake! AND? They won’t put toilet paper, OR, even soap between their tail end!

I'm serious grasshoppers; I've seen it over, AND, over again in my practice. Look, working in the intimate space physically with Tantric Sexuality? Men in particular, HAVE left me ASTONISHED, for lack of a better word. I can't begin to tell ya's how many occurrences I've witnessed, of male seekers wantin to explore "Sacred Sexuality" in my Sanctuary, AND? Have NO CONCEPT of how to even be meticulous enough with cleanliness between the cracks of their ass!!!!!! I'm tellin you ALL in total DISCLOSURE here; if you DO NOT MASTER this regime? I CAN NOT HELP YOU LEARN THE SACRED ELEMENTS OF THE INTIMATE TANTRIC LIFESTYLE. NO ONE, AND I MEAN, NO FUCKING BODY IS EVERY GONNA EXPLORE YOUR BODY (INCLUDING YOUR FEMALE PARTNER) IF YOU DO NOT CLEANSE IT PERFECTLY. Sooooooo? This IS your TANTRIC ASS WIPE LESSON 101! DAMN WELL CONQUER IT!!!!!!

GOOD GODDESS!!!!! Today? This ISSSS the story of a lifettime, AND, your mentoring lecture about NOT SO SACRED BUTT HEADS "NOT" knowing how to clean their arse after takin a shit!!!! Guys, this IS a TRUE LIFE turn off which, BTW, is not honouring the lifestyle practice of Tantra! The same ol' story gets recited in my ears with men saying, "I wanna be a better Loveaaaaaa for my partner, YADA YADA YADA, TANTRA, TANTRA, TANTRA", OR? "My partner doesn't wanna go down on me". "What should I do Dakini"? So, like after listenin to the wearisome dialogue? The session gets underway after havin a client take the shower protocol; they lie down on their stomach, AND, I start the Tantric touch techniques for body arousal that have been explained to them, THEN? I can't even hover with Oli over them with 10 foot F****IN pole! Envision this people. Remember the comic strip character Linus from "The Peanuts"? Need I say any more? Listen up people, an unhygienic Butt Hole IS NOT a horny thing!!!! How the hell is ANY Loveaaaaa gonna give their intimate Feminine touch to your wedgie wiggle with a rising fog comin outta your thong region????? So, this IS the starting point for Tantra's Love lesson for Sexy sanitation! Don't worry, I'm delicate when it comes to revealing the revelations to wanna be better Love, Love, Loveaaaasss! A gentle approach to the personal discovery IS best for sure. Bottom line here? Men DO NOT spread their cheeks to wipe, OR, clean their anus, plain and simple, AND? I'm LIVIN' PROOF OF THAT SURVIVING FACT!!! Holy crap! Nothing seems to go between them. Soooooo, what needs to happen here? Suggestions? Advice? Well, it's a pretty simple process, AND, I'm NOT gonna bash, BUT, (Tee Hee) I find it F***IN hilarious if this butt phobic homophobia doesn't stop? There WILL be more, AND, more men comin to me for cultivated instructions, AND, training BECAUSE OF THIS EPIDEMIC of them wanting to be, as they put it? Better Loveaaaaaaaas!

Just know this! To ALL you straight dudes out there; cleanin your rump doesn’t make you weird, OR, a fag, OR, anything else for that matter, I PROMISE!!!!! You MUST simply get into the shower, AND, squat to clean your shit hole with soap and water, EACH AND EVERY GODDESS DAMN TIME after you dump your crap into the toilet!!! Honestly, even when I lived in my car at Carlton and Yonge street in Toronto for 3 nights in the back alley when I was homeless A LONG TIME AGO? I went to the YWCA and showered my Goddess Goblet off EVERY DAY!!! Yepper, peppers, I'm NO stranger to the streets, SOOOOO? NO MORE EXCUSES PLEASE!!!!

If you feel a little bit CLUELESS as to how exactly to keep things clean between the twerk muscles from wipe to wash, you're REALLY NOT alone. According to a researched survey, TONS of, YES, even Women if you can imagine, ALONG WITH men actually don't know how to keep their downstairs squeaky clean. The number of people that REFUSE to cleanse their ass IS outrageous! Hygiene IS a horny prerequisite for Tantra's Sacred Intimate Exploration Lovelies! Wiping IS NOT ENOUGH! Wash that thing will ya's!!!! This might seem like a pretty basic human skill, BUT, (honestly) in reality here, BECAUSE I EXPERIENCE IT FIRST HAND WITH MY WORK? There ARE plenty of ways to mess this task up. Let me give ya's an example; some people are convinced that they can wipe while standing up! Are you F***IN kiddin me?!!!!

Listen, screwing up the INTRICATE ART of washin your donkey dot WILL lead to odour, discomfort, OR? SWAMP ASS!!! If you ask me, AND, you didn't, BUT, (here goes) I'm gonna give it to ya's anyway. None of those UNSEXY symptoms are appetizing believe me, especially in the age of prostate stimulation, AND, couples learning to get reacquainted with those Sacred areas of the body, AND, etc! Butt hole discernability, AND, stimulation IS at an all time high, SOOOOOO? Make Goddess damn sure that it's not visibly crumbly, OR, matted, YUK A F***IN DUCK!!!! The first step towards peachy cleanliness IS maintaining a well wiped derriere! Sponging, AND, shampooing go hand in hand, which, BTW, ISSSSS something we GENERALLY learned once we left our diapers behind, BUT, (adult amnesia, AND, laziness set in!!!). Unfortunately, the correct way to smear off your backdoor might elude you. Why's that? BECAUSE, there really IS NOT any hard, AND, fast rules when it comes to cleanin your pooch, except that you probably shouldn’t do it callously in a dash! Some Sister's and brother's mop up so F****IN vigorously that their anal aches!!!! No matter what you choose to use, MAKE SURE OF THIS. Take a close look at the ingredients. There’s natural mists that come in a variety of ORGANIC scents just in case you're hoping for some extra help in terms of aromas. I personally recommend skippin the fancy products, AND buying liquefied witch hazel natural soap, which IS cheap enough, AND, very effective, AND? I keep it at my work Sanctuary, AND, know where to buy it IF YOU CARE! After your usual clean off, add a few drops to a small wad of toilet paper, IF, you insist on rushing; just enough to dampen it, AND, give your tush a final take away! BUT, if you're gonna go into the arena of Sexual play? DO IT IN THE FUCKING SHOWER!!!

You're NOT gonna be clean on a microscopic level the quick route, BUT, (remember) a witch hazel cleanse ENSURES wayyyyyyy less bacterial contamination. As with the rest of your garden? The shower WILL BE your best opportunity to really obliterate your bumdittidumb. And NO, cleaning DOES NOT mean just lettin the water run down your F***IN back, AND, between your crack like a lazy ass river either. It also DOES NOT mean grabbin any old bar of soap, AND, glidin it lightly between your ass chops! I'M NOT MAKING THIS SIMPLE PEOPLE!

Use a NATURAL soap that’s gentle, looking for words like SENSITIVE, OR, GENTLE (Daaaaaaa) as you scope over which Sexy suds will be used specifically for taking care of things below the belt. What you need to keep in mind ISSSSSS? Whichever bar you choose BETTER NOT be used on the face, OR, the rest of your Temple. That's a recipe for pink eye grasshoppers!!! What else? Use a hand held shower head for DIRECT UP CLOSE cleansing. If you prefer a washcloth, OR, loofa, FINE, just make sure to get between the gills, BUT, (again), don't be vigorous. It's best to make sure you're washing this regularly because it's your poop chute we're talking about here! No matter how many times you get down on each other in the MOST SACRED AREA OF YOUR HOTHOUSES? Gettin washed up PROPERLY, PRIOR to the escapade WILL solved any future fears for suspicions of stench! AND? Your Sexual Tantra journey WILL be pleasurable, AND, memorable, creating what? The looking forward attitude of ANTICIPATION AND ECSTATIC EXCITEMENT for the next rendezvous with your Loveaaaaaaaa! This IS a HUGE link in the lifestyle chain my tribe!!!!!!

Enjoy!

oxoxoxoxo