Horny Hair

Hey Lovelies! Are you all turnin into Horny Hippie's these days? With all the Hair Salons working underground, AND, out from under the radar; I'm sure there's a lot to be said for longer, lustier locks! I'm letting it be known today that Sex WILL put all the Salons back into business like never before! Let's talk about Sex, AND? HAIR GROWTH!! Let’s face it; over the course of our lives we’re told a hundred things about SEX, SEX SEX!!! Sex IS this; Sex IS that! Sex will cause your hair to fall out. Wait, what? No way Jose! Actually as a matter of factual research on my part?? Sex WILL NOT cause your streaks to drop off your Einstein ball. COMPLETELY the opposite ISSSSSS true Loveaaaaasss! La, La WILL extend the length of your HORNY HAIR growth!!! AND? WILL indeed help to prevent the loss of your main mane! Let me open up the specifics on how PUSHY, PUSHY improves cozy cowlicks growing capacity! I'm sure we've all heard the saying from the adult mentors in our lives: "Don’t masturbate; you’ll go blind, AND, get hairy palms!” Obviously, that's bullshit right? NO SHIT SHERLOCKS! BUT, (Ta Da!) it WAS our more puritanical ancestors that wanted to discourage the act, SOOOOOO, the myth was born! THE thought that SEX causes hair loss, ISSSSSS a fallacy. What's the reasoning behind this myth??? Well, it's because the loss of seminal fluid in men WOULD lead to a protein deficiency. Sister's, brother's; that’s since been proven to be A CROCK OF SHIT! Look, the amount of protein lost during an ejaculation ISSSSS negligible. It’s not enough to impact the flowering expansion of your Sexy strands!!! There may be a tinnie winnie bit of Goddess Gospel Grit to that second legend though. While it’s frankly fishy that your palms will grow hair, it’s been shown that havin Nooky WILL help the wizard wig to grow. SOOOOO, how the hell does IT happen? Before I go into specifics about Sex hormones, there ARE a few points I need to go over here. First of all, while some moonlight mane thinning CAN be blamed on your genes, there ARE many ways I'm gonna tell ya's how to counter this. A healthy vitamin supplement definitely WILL remedy the promotion for sprouting spikes. Legitimate diet, AND, exercise WILL do justice! Just because you have bald genes DOES NOT mean that ALL IS LOST. Secondly, both, (and I said BOTH) Women’s and men’s bodies have the hormones Estrogen and testosterone. It’s usually a false pretense that testosterone is a man THING, AND, Estrogen is only found in Females. WRONG!!!! NOPE, NOPE, NOT!!!!! There ARE levels of each Horny hormone found in your gardens REGARDLESS of what specie you are. Soooooo; how does that relate to Sex hormones, AND, your HORNY HAIR? Alrighty grasshoppers, it’s commonly thought that a sharp rise in testosterone WILL affect the efficacy of follicles. Strictly speaking? When your testosterone levels rise, you lose your split ends! Listen up Loveaaaaas! The activities which can hike up and upgrade for those levels are???? Working out IS one, AND, Sex ISSSSS THE OTHER PREFERRED PLAN OF ATTACK!! It’s like a natural antidote to beaner baldness!

In short people? Don't forget your body IS hardwired with hormones which WILL INDEED cause toupee troubles. BUT, (PAY ATTENTION) F***IN WILL boost the hormones which WILL have just the reverse effect. Estrogen IS NOT just a Feminine family affair my tribe! Sex IS THE natural nulifier; FOR ALL THINGS AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED! WELL? Now you know that SCREWIN IS GONNA TURN US ALL INTO HIPPIES; ESPECIALLY NOW WITH THE HAIR SALONS CLOSED. It's like reliving Woodstock all over again!!! Keep in mind to stay away, AS MY USUAL RULE OF THUMB SUGGESTS, from any drugs, OR, supplements which are marketed to enhance your silly little male libido. Why? Take a look at your handful of strands handsomes!! They ARE counterproductive, causing? The frizzlin of your frizzy's! If you’re lookin for an innate, AND, lively way to increase your thatch thickening, JUST FUCK EVERYDAY! It carries awesome benefits for your Lovely Locks, AND, your relationship with your Loveaaaaaaa! What better excuse do you need? NONE!

Let your Horny Hair down people!

oxooxoxoxox