The Feminine Instrument
Hiya!!! What's been goin on people?????? Look, sorry I'm not unravelling my Sacred Scrolls every week anymore, BUT, (Ta Da!) I've been REALLY BUSY playing the piano lately!!! That's right Loveaaaasss; the GREAT pandemic HAS compelled me forward to use my playful paws elsewhere!!!!! Don't be sad; I ain't going anywhere that soon, YET! I'm still around, BUT, (hello) exercising my fingertips in a whole different light! Anyway, honing in on a NEW piece of musical whimsical utensil these days has been extremely advantageous AND? You should be tooooooooo, BECAUSE, this my fine feather followers, WILL RAISE the Worldly tones of Effeminate vibrations even further!!!!! THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE!!!!!!
Sooooooo, which octave appliance IS considered to be the most (key word) FEMININELY Sexy? If you immediately think of a breathy, seductive saxophone? YOU'RE WRONG!!!!! If your hearts (and other intimates) go flying towards the singers, AND, guitarists of a band? You're mistaken again Lovelies! Now, remember, I did write about the Sexy guitar some eons ago, BUT, (Yepper dear peppers) that pleasing piece of equipment IS the Sexiest, NOT, Femininely Sexy! So, do tell you say? THE PIANO GRASSHOPPERS!!!!! As a matter of FACT here? It’s been excelling in ecstasy for centuries! That grand keyboard IS THE gateway to EMOTIONS, which IS? TA DA, A FEMININE TRAIT!!!!! Look, there's something undeniably Goddessy Sexy about it, AND? The person who entertains it OOOOZES with Sensuality! Here are A FEW reasons why I'm NOT shittin ya!
Your fingers know exactly which buttons to press. If you're a pianist, you're known for being good with your hands, especially your little digits. You play like a virtuoso over the console, AND, can extract the finest nuances from your harmonious platform. Whether it's soft to hard, OR, a deep A to high C, you have 88 expressions of Love, Love, Love Loveaaaaasss!!! Your little hooks naturally just seem to find the right way all by themselves, AND, every note IS believe it or not, like a delicate touch. Finally? Your game increases into a Sensual arpeggio, AND THEN? You release your listeners with an ecstatic fortissimo that makes the room shake!!!!! There’s NO question about it; IT IS a tickling of the ivories leading to a Sexy Sympathy! Just simply take a look people; this marvelous machinery IS extremely well built! Of course, others have beautiful architecture as well, BUT, (To Be Honest?) nothing, and I mean NADA, fills the imagination as much as the attractive curves of a grand piano’s wing shaped body. She's slim, yet curvy, strong, yet fragile, reserved, BUT, (as you must know) self confident! She has a staunch backbone, nerves like F****IN steel ropes, AND WHAT ELSE? In contrast to the cello, no stick in the butt! Not only this, She's ALWAYS well dressed, AND, has very well groomed teeth, LOL!!! In actual FACT you fabulous followers? Her non sportiness IS forgiven, because under that hard shell hides a sensitive heart with many undiscovered strings. AND, as a bonus? If a male's desire overwhelms himself, the capable posterior of this exquisite rhythmic setup IS THE ideal place for a hot F***IN rendezvous! Knowledge makes you Sensuously sharpened Lovelies! Even if the guitarist in the past WAS the star at the campfire, you DID NOT let yourself be dazzled by this type of quick, fleeting glory right???? If you're a pianist, you started learning from the ground up, am I right? Musical theory and the development of your ear got you out of the starting gate. A pianist is SOOOOOO promiscuous because they know that REAL eroticism stems from the mind. A small sound of secrecy???? Everyone wants to try the twelve positions of the Circle of Fifths with you!!!! That's right, frontwards and backwards! LOL! You’re always in the F***IN mood! With other music gizmos, it often takes FOREVER to get tuned up, AND, in the desirable disposition. BUT, (in truth) with The Elton John Toy, you always find the right note, IMMEDIATELY!!! Well, I mean, every few months you gotta get your black and whites reconciled, BUT, (for sure) then you're good to go for long periods of arousing intermezzo; while the guitarist is still picking at his strings and twiddling with his knobs in hopes that some tension will arise!
What about being the best suited instrument for the Female body, huh, huh? Well, straddling the legs around a cello WAS considered immoral back in the day; SOOOOOOO, sitting by the piano was much more becoming for a Lady Lou. BUT, (soon enough) our Girlfriends of the past became important for the development of piano composition! Of course, there HAVE BEEN RULES and conventions regarding what Sister's can, AND, can’t do on the acoustic pew!!!
Listen up people! Women WILL continue to sit at the piano, AND, play without having to twist their body FOREVER! It's graceful, Feminine, AND, Her position with their legs together WILL show off respectful dignity. Look, ALL Sensual pianists (like myself now) choose to primarily congregate to the slender ivory draft board BECAUSE? IT IS a showpiece, AND, a GENUINE MATCH for alignment of The Supreme Specie!
Just helping you understand more about the Feminine path forward!